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10 Original Films To Watch This Summer

K.F. Cumberbatch
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10 Original Films To Watch This Summer

If you’re suffering from blockbuster fatigue and tired of seeing yet another superhero flick from Marvel or DC, the summer movie season is likely the worst time of year for you. Every other film that’s being released in theatres during that time fits fairly neatly into either category it seems.

Generally speaking, even outside of this blockbuster season, films these days are either a sequel, prequel, interquel (a story that takes place between two previous installments; e.g Rogue One) or midquel (a story that takes place during a previous installment; e.g Saw IV), a remake, a reboot, a re-imagining or an adaptation or re-adaptation (yes, that’s a thing) of a pre-existing property*. In short, there are hardly any original films.

For this list, we’re looking at those films that will premiere in theatres from the end of June to the end of September that are none of those things. That means that highly anticipated films like Atomic Blonde, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and The Dark Tower are exempt from this list since they’re based on graphic novels and a novel, respectively (I did mention adaptations).

So if you’re looking for something different and original this summer, take a peek at our list of 10 Original Films to Watch This Summer.

* There are a lot of “quels” and other terms for film franchises. Check out this comprehensive list on Empire Online – Infographic: Movie Franchise Lexicon.

#1. Baby Driver – Jun 28

Written and directed by:  Edgar Wright

Starring: Ansel Elgort, Kevin Spacey, Lily James, Eiza González, Jon Hamm and Jamie Foxx.

Synopsis: A talented, young getaway driver (Ansel Elgort) relies on the beat of his personal soundtrack to be the best in the game. When he meets the girl of his dreams (Lily James), Baby sees a chance to ditch his criminal life and make a clean getaway. But after being coerced into working for a crime boss (Kevin Spacey), he must face the music when a doomed heist threatens his life, love and freedom. – Baby Driver Official Site.

#2. Okja – Jun 28

Written by:  Jon Ronson and Bong Joon-ho

Directed by: Bong Joon-ho

Starring: Tilda Swinton, Paul Dano, Ahn Seo-hyun, Byun Hee-bong, Steven Yeun, Lily Collins, Yoon Je-moon, Shirley Henderson, Daniel Henshall, Devon Bostick, Choi Woo-shik, Giancarlo Esposito and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Synopsis: A gentle giant and the girl who raised her are caught in the crossfire between animal activism, corporate greed and scientific ethics. – Netflix.

#3. Dunkirk – Jul 21

Written and directed by: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Fionn Whitehead, Tom Glynn-Carney, Jack Lowden, Harry Styles, Aneurin Barnard, James D’Arcy, Barry Keoghan, Kenneth Branagh, Cillian Murphy
Mark Rylance and Tom Hardy.

Synopsis: Allied soldiers from Belgium, the British Empire, Canada, and France are surrounded by the German army and evacuated during a fierce battle in World War II. – IMDB.

#4. Girls Trip – July 21

Written by: Kenya Barris and Tracy Oliver

Directed by:  Malcolm D. Lee

Starring:  Regina Hall, Queen Latifah, Tiffany Haddish, Jada Pinkett Smith, Larenz Tate and Mike Colter.

Synopsis: When four lifelong friends—Regina Hall, Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith and Tiffany Haddish—travel to New Orleans for the annual Essence Festival, sisterhoods are rekindled, wild sides are rediscovered, and there’s enough dancing, drinking, brawling and romancing to make the Big Easy blush. James Lopez, head of motion pictures for Will Packer Productions, and Preston Holmes, executive produce. – Girls Trip Official Site.

#5. Wind River – Aug 4

Written and directed by:  Taylor Sheridan

Starring: Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen.

Synopsis: An FBI agent teams with a town’s veteran game tracker to investigate a murder that occurred on a Native American reservation. – IMDB.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN9PDOoLAfg

#6. The Hitman’s Bodyguard – Aug 18

Written by: Tom O’Connor

Directed by: Patrick Hughes

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Élodie Yung and Salma Hayek.

Synopsis: The world’s top bodyguard gets a new client, a hit man who must testify at the International Court of Justice. They must put their differences aside and work together to make it to the trial on time. – IMDB.

#7. Logan Lucky – Aug 18

Written by: Rebecca Blunt

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

Starring: Adam Driver, Channing Tatum, Riley Keough, Daniel Craig, Seth MacFarlane, Katie Holmes, Hilary Swank, Katherine Waterston, Sebastian Stan, and Jesco White.

Synopsis: Trying to reverse a family curse, brothers Jimmy (Channing Tatum) and Clyde Logan (Adam Driver) set out to execute an elaborate robbery during the legendary Coca-Cola 600 race at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. The production shot at Charlotte Motor Speedway during the actual NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 and the Bank of America 500, as well as at Atlanta Motor Speedway. In a fun twist, six NASCAR stars pop up in non-driver cameo roles in the film. – Logan Lucky Official Site.

#8. The Life and Death of John Gotti – Aug 25

Written by: Lem Dobbs and Leo Rossi.

Directed by: Kevin Connolly

Starring:  John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Stacy Keach, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Spencer Lofranco and Victor Gojcaj.

Synopsis: The film will reveal the relationship of a father who lived and died by the mob code and a son who, while brought up to lead a life of crime, chose to leave that world behind and redeem himself and the Gotti name. Never before has there been such an inside look at the Gotti family and their world of danger, betrayal and redemption. – IMDB.

No trailer available.

#9. Battle of the Sexes – Sep 22

Written by:  Simon Beaufoy

Directed by: Valerie Faris and Jonathan Dayton.

Starring: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough, Elisabeth Shue, Austin Stowell, and Sarah Silverman.

Synopsis:  In the wake of the sexual revolution and the rise of the women’s movement, the 1973 tennis match between women’s World #1 Billie Jean King (Emma Stone) and ex-men’s-champ and serial hustler Bobby Riggs (Steve Carell) was billed as the BATTLE OF THE SEXES and became one of the most watched televised sports events of all time, reaching 90 million viewers around the world. As the rivalry between King and Riggs kicked into high gear, off-court each was fighting more personal and complex battles. – Fox Searchlight.

#10. American Made – Sept 29

Written by: Gary Spinelli

Directed by: Doug Liman

Starring: Tom Cruise, Domhnall Gleeson, Sarah Wright, E. Roger Mitchell, Jesse Plemons, Lola Kirke, Alejandro Edda, Benito Martinez, Caleb Landry Jones and Jayma Mays.

Synopsis: In Universal Pictures’ American Made, Tom Cruise reunites with his Edge of Tomorrow director, Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity, Mr. and Mrs. Smith), in this international escapade based on the outrageous (and real) exploits of a hustler and pilot unexpectedly recruited by the CIA to run one of the biggest covert operations in U.S. history. – American Made Official Site.

Reign S04E16 [FINALE] Recap

K.F. Cumberbatch
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0
Reign S04E16 [FINALE] Recap

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.

I have so many feelings about this finale – some of them not so positive as the episode went on – that it’s hard to sort through them all. But what I felt in the final moments of this episode was a bitter sweet mixture of catharsis and sadness. I didn’t expect to be this sad about the series ending, even as I watched the episode.

After Darnley left baby James alone in the woods, Mary finally got him back thanks to an extensive search by her men and a farmer who happened upon him and took him to a church. With Darnley posing a significant threat to to her and her child (the Privy Council still planned to name him Steward even after the kidnapping), Mary finally decided that it was time to have Darnley killed. And she succeeded, surprisingly. I didn’t think that Darnley would actually die.

I must say that I didn’t like that these were the circumstances under which Darnley would be assassinated. It didn’t feel right, given the state of his mental health. Really, I blame his mother. If Lady Lennox hadn’t filled his head with lies about Mary and used his mental illness to manipulate him, this would not have happened. Even in his precarious position after baby James was found, she still continued to try to take advantage of him. She was just awful.

I didn’t think anything of Mary and Bothwell letting others in on their plot to murder Darnley. I certainly didn’t expect them to tattle to John Knox. It was cowardly and beyond frustrating because Knox, at last, had something he could truly hold over Mary and get rid of her; the one thing he’s always wanted and he got it. It was so maddening that he won! And was so smug about it too!

Over in France, another character died in this episode. The peanuts were a dead (no pun intended) giveaway as to how Nicole would die. Coupled with the witch’s statement that she would die soon, it was obvious. The chef did say that it was new to France and they would not have known about peanut allergies. It was so simple! So simple that I laughed. It was so uncomplicated and almost coincidental that it was kind of ridiculous.

If Catherine lived in the age of news media she would be the Queen of Spin! It was beautiful how deftly she she weaved a story of blame against Spain and used Nicole’s death to position her sons to fight back against their would be challengers.

I knew that the witch’s price for Nicole’s death would have been steep. Catherine herself knew it. But it got pretty weird when it seemed like all she wanted was a threesome with Catherine and Narcisse and she went really far when she tried to summon the devil (and get pregnant?) during their little tryst. The best part of the scene was when Catherine didn’t even hesitate in killing her. She just picked up the knife and started stabbing.

I don’t recall Catherine’s daughter Margot ever having existed – I didn’t even remember Leeza- or her ever being mentioned. Exactly how many children did she have with Henry? I naturally thought that the witch had been referring to Claude. I kind of thought that Catherine would have sacrificed herself for Charles and Henry (Jr), but she doesn’t love her children that much.

There was yet another character death in this episode and that was Jane. I understood where she was coming from when she explained to Elizabeth why she aided Narcisse; she hate royals. But as Elizabeth said, neither she nor Gideon ever did anything to harm Jane (well, except when Elizabeth hit her over the head and almost killed her because she’d seen Elizabeth and Gideon together). It’s hard to believe that she never came to care for them, even a little, after all of the time she spent with them. Just enough to give a second thought to what she was doing. She seemed so good-natured.

The venom with which she spoke to Elizabeth was so unlike the meek, gentle girl she’d been before then. I liked that version of her so much better. There was so much bitterness and hatred coming out of her when she spoke to Elizabeth in fact, that I didn’t blame the English queen when she hit her. I was surprised when Jane was still standing after suffering such a blow, but I didn’t think she’d been struck hard enough for Elizabeth to have actually killed her.

Elizabeth and Ferdinand were a ship I was sad to see sink. I knew the marriage wouldn’t happen. As one of the world’s most famous monarchs, everyone knows that Elizabeth I never married. Still, he was so sweet on her that I liked the idea of them together. Despite knowing that he had nothing to do with Gideon’s death, she still seemed oddly antagonistic toward him – which I didn’t understand. However, I guess his attempt to change the terms of their marriage contract was enough to earn him her ire.

Just as I had suspected, Mary’s letter freed Elizabeth from her marriage obligations and she leapt at the chance to end the engagement. Her “I am England and I do not need saving” speech to Ferdinand was so moving and empowering that I cheered when she was done. As was her speech to her men as they headed off for war with Spain, dressed in armour and ready for battle.

My major problem with this finale is that it left a lot of hanging plot lines that will never be resolved. Plot lines that had all of the potential to spin off into good stories for a hypothetical fifth season; Mary’s imprisonment, the ensuing conflict between France and Spain, Margot’s return to French court and Elizabeth ushering in her golden age. There was so much fodder there for another season and the show was nowhere close to the of the stories of any of it’s three queens.

Another problem was the twenty-one year time skip. It was jarring and felt very, very random. It felt tacked on, like and afterthought. Something that the creators had to stick onto the end because they didn’t know that what they were filming was the final season and had to shoot that part later on and add it in to give the series a “conclusive” finish. It felt rushed.

But the finale scene in which Mary, in death, reunited with Francis momentarily made me forget my misgivings about it. I got swept up in my feelings. I was so happy that it was him that she met when she died and that they finally got their happily ever after. It was a beautiful moment.

Random thoughts:

  1. Can’t say I’m sad that Nicole is dead.
  2. Elizabeth does not seem bothered about killing Jane.
  3. Is war with Spain really a good idea?
  4. Go Elizabeth!
  5. Wait…what? Twenty-one years later?!
  6. Mary: “It seems like so long ago.” I know right!

7 Reasons To Be Excited For Game of Thrones Season 7

K.F. Cumberbatch
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7 Reasons To Be Excited For Game of Thrones Season 7

We are less than one month away from premiere of Game of Thrones season seven! Twenty-seven days in fact. Soon we’ll be spending our Sunday nights with the characters we love, the characters we hate and the characters we love to hate, crafting theory after theory and waiting to see if any of our favourites will be confirmed, playing drinking games every time someone dies and feeling the full spectrum of human emotion in the most epic hour of television ever. With the sensationally successful HBO series returning very shortly (albeit a bit late), here’s 7 Reasons To Be Excited About Game of Thrones Season 7.

#7. CleganeBowl

What is hype may never die.

With last season’s revelation that Sandor “The Hound” Clegane is, in fact, alive some fans may just get the one fight that they’ve wanted above all others. The CleganeBowl theory originally stated that The Hound would return to King’s Landing to fight on behalf of the the Faith in Cersei’s trial by combat, in which Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane would have been representing her. It has also been linked to the Valonqar prophecy (see entry four); since The Hound is the younger  – “little” – brother to The Mountain, it suggests that The Hound is the valonqar.

 

Obviously Cersei’s trial by combat won’t happen on the show since she blew up everyone in the Sept of Baelor and at present The Hound is headed North with the Brotherhood Without Banners (will he run into Arya?!) and not south toward King’s Landing. Plus, The Mountain is always at Cersei’s side. Also, it doesn’t really make sense that the High Sparrow would have chosen The Hound when he was so far away from the capital, far less that he’d have known about him hiding out with Brother Ray at all. The Hound wouldn’t even have been on his radar and it would have required a lot of hoop-jumping for the story to align in just the right way to make it happen. At least in this original incarnation of the theory.

But proponents of this theory won’t let minor details like that dampen their hype for this epic battle! We saw what a clash between the two brothers could look like in season one, when The Hound and The Mountain fought after the latter was defeated by Loras Tyrell in jousting.

It likely won’t happen, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility. As the series wraps up, Benioff and Weiss seem to be – to some extent – giving the fans what they want in terms of confirming long standing fan theories. The brothers definitely won’t fight in a trial by combat, but the could in a different context. Either way, it’s a fun theory.

#6. Arya’s Murderous Rampage

In one of the most satisfying moments of last season, Arya used the skills she acquired in her training as a Faceless Man to kill Walder Frey. It was a beautiful death made all the more perfect by her feeding him his own sons.

© HBO

Aside from him, she’s gotten to kill a few others from her kill list; Polliver (who killed her friend Lommy all the way back in season two and took Needle; she killed him in season four when she and The Hound stopped at an inn), Rorge (one of the men who was locked in the cage with Jaqen as she was travelling to the Night’s Watch with Yoren and who threatened to rape her; she also killed him in season four while travelling with The Hound) and Ser Meryn Trant (one of the kingsguard who killed her water dancing instructor Syrio Forel; she killed him in season five at a Braavosi brothel).

Of the people who were on her kill list, there are only two who are now dead and we didn’t get the sweet, sweet satisfaction of seeing her off them: Joffrey (who was poisoned by Olenna Tyrell and Littlefinger at the infamous Purple Wedding) and Tywin Lannister (who took an arrow to the belly at the hands of Tyrion while sitting on the toilet).

Those remaining on her list are Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrion (for selling Gendry to Melisandre), Melisandre (for taking Gendry), Ilyn Payne (for beheading Ned Stark; we likely won’t see him again, however, since the actor who played him nearly died from pancreatic cancer), The Mountain (for torturing the prisoners at Harrenhal) and Cersei (for her involvement in Ned’s death).

The only person who’s been removed from her list without dying is The Hound and that is because she’s largely forgiven him, although she seems conflicted about it. They’re still plenty of people left for her to kill though and hopefully she gets through much of her list in season seven.

#5. A Stark Reunion

If there’s one family that’s suffered the most in this series, it’s the Starks. Between Ned being beheaded, the separation of the Stark children, the Red Wedding, the sacks of Winterfell by Theon and Ramsay and Rickon’s death, they’ve been through quite a lot. The one thing we’ve always wanted – begged for even – was for the family to come back together.

We were teased with a mini Stark reunion in season three as Jon made his way south with the wildlings and came remarkably close to encountering Bran and Rickon. At the end of the last season, two of the four remaining Starks – Jon and Sansa – reunited at Winterfell.

From what we’ve seen in the trailer it looks like Arya will be heading North and we know that Bran is heading South toward the Wall. We saw Jon beyond the Wall in the trailer as well. With these three more or less headed toward each other, hopefully Arya makes it to Winterfell before Jon leaves their childhood home, Jon runs into Bran when he’s beyond the Wall and both brothers return to Winterfell, together or no.

© HBO

Given Bran’s responsibility as the Three Eyed Raven however, it’s perhaps unlikely he will ever make it home.  But there is a weirwood at Winterfell that he can use for his green-seeing.

This being Game of Thrones, we probably won’t get a happy ending like this for the Starks, this season or the next, but a fan can dream right?

Also, could they please stop killing off the direwolves? Thanks!

#4. Jamie Is The Valonqar

In season five we got one of our first flashbacks on the show; a young Cersei and one of her friends snuck out to visit Maggy the Frog to have their fortunes read. It was here that we received the Valonqar Prophecy. Maggy said to Cersei:

“And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.”

“Valonqar” is High Valyrian for “little brother.” Theories abound as to who it could be, with many of them pointing toward Tyrion; the obvious choice since he is the youngest of the Lannister children and  has suffered greatly at the hands of his elder sister. However, despite Cersei and Jamie being a twin, he was born after his sister/lover and thus is in fact younger than she is. So he does qualify as her “little brother.”

© HBO

I was all for Tyrion being the one to kill Cersei, she certainly deserves it, but I love this theory even more. Jamie being the valonqar would fit perfectly into the narrative! He killed Mad King Aerys because he planned to use wildfire to burn down all of King’s Landing. Cersei used it to destroy the just the Sept of Baelor and not the entire city, but she did what Jamie ruined his life and reputation to prevent.

© HBO

He’s finally caught up to his book counterpart in releasing how mad and dangerous Cersei has become. It would be all the more perfect if he winds up killing her during a second sack of King’s Landing, with her threatening to burn the entire city. The same circumstances under which Jamie killed Mad King Aerys.

#3. Jon Stark-Targaryen

R + L = J confirmed! At least on the TV series. We’ve yet to be told if it’s true in the books.

Bran is now the only other person in the world who knows the truth of Jon’s parentage besides Howland Reed (are we ever going to see present-day Howland?). As stated in the Stark Reunion entry, he and Jon are headed toward each other. Perhaps Bran will tell him who his real parents are? There are so many implications!

It’d be fascinating to see what Jon’s reaction would be to learning that Ned is not his father and is actually his uncle, that  he’s a Targaryen, that he’s a prince, that he’s next in line for the throne of Westeros, that he’s the personification of The Song of Ice and Fire! Well that last bit he wouldn’t know, but still.

It’s highly doubtful that Jon would even want to rule Westeros in any case. He’s never wanted power. He has taken up the title of King of the North, but it’s not one that he asked for. Furthermore, Winterfell is his home and he only just got it back. He possibly won’t want to leave.

© HBO

It would also be fascinating to see how Daenerys reacts to the news, if she ever does find out. She’s believed that she’s the last remaining Targaryen for so long and here she would have another member of her family. Beyond that, as the last Targaryen she’s believed that the throne of Westeros is rightfully hers. Now here’s someone who bumps her down the line of succession, something that I don’t think she would take very well.

But they do say that the dragon needs three heads, a theory which the revelation of Jon’s parentage all but confirms as well; that he and Daenerys will comprise two of the three heads, with Tyrion as the third. Jon and Daenerys wouldn’t need to squabble over which Targaryen would sit the Iron Throne. They could rule together!

Yes, yes, yes. That requires more incest on this show and we’ve had quite enough of that, but at least that way we could avoid conflict between Jon and Daenerys. Although, as I said, I don’t think he’d want to sit on the Iron Throne anyway.

#2. Daenerys vs Cersei

Three words: Field of Fire.

This was a huge battle during Aegon I Targaryen’s war of conquest. Taking place in the plains south of Blackwater and in the northern region of The Reach, Aegon and his Targaryen forces fought against Loren I Lannister, King of the Rock and Mern IX Gardener, King of the Reach. During the battle Aegon and his sisters-wives took to their dragons Balerion, Meraxes and Vhagar, setting the battlefield afire and securing a decisive victory.

We see what looks to be a similar battle between Daenerys’ Targaryen forces and Cersei’s Lannister soldiers  in the promotional images for the season; Targaryens and Lannisters facing each other on the battlefield once again in an identical confrontation. Don’t you just love how Daenerys’ journey mirrors that of Aegon’s at times?

© HBO

This would be another opportunity for us to see Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal in action after last season’s Second Siege of Mereen, in which they burned part of the fleet belonging to the joined military forces of Astapor, Yunkai and Volantis. With the shorter run this season and thereby more money allocated for each episode, hopefully the effects budget will allow us to see more of the dragons and that they will have a significant role in this battle.

There are also glimpses of fighting between the Unsullied and Lannister soldiers at what appears to be Casterly Rock. In all honesty, any and every clash between these two women will be exciting to watch and likely a spectacle to behold. It’s the face off we’ve all been waiting for. The ultimate girl fight! Queen against Queen! And it’s finally here!

© HBO

Honourable Mentions

  1. Grey Worm’s Grey Worm: We clearly see him and Missandei getting it on in the trailer and admit it, just like Littlefinger wonders of Varys, we’ve all been a little curious as to whether or not our other favourite eunuch still has a penis. We’ll soon then out.
  2. Mad Queen Cersei: Cersei has never been more fun to watch! By placing her on opposition with the High Sparrow the writers managed to make her sympathetic and got us all to root for her. With no such comparative evil to make her look better, she’s still going to be one of the most captivating characters in the series and after her destruction of the Sept of Baelor it’ll be interesting to see where she bored and what she does next.
  3. Jorah’s Grey Scale: Jorah the Explorer has had the worst of luck in the last few seasons. Second only to his bring rejected and exiled by Daenerys was his contracting Grey Scale. Daenerys has since forgiven him and he’s on his way to Dragonstone with her. Who do we just so happen to see at Dragonstone in the trailer? Melisandre! She can and hopefully will cure him.

#1. The War for the Dawn

This is the name given to the prophesied battle in which humanity and the reborn Azor Ahai /The Prince That Was Promised (theories point to both heroes being the same person) will fight against the the White Walkers and possibly the Great Other (the enemy of R’hollor).

It would be the second such battle, with the Battle for the Dawn having occurred six to eight thousand years ago – during the Age of Heroes –  between the joint efforts of the First Men and the Children of the Forest and the White Walkers. This Battle ended the Long Night and preceded the construction of The Wall, which was built to keep the White Walkers out of Westeros.

Winter has been coming since the first episode of this series. Now that it’s finally come the White Walkers have come with it (or they brought the winter, it’s not clear yet which comes first). As we know, all of this petty squabbling between the Westerosi lords for the Iron Throne means nothing in the face of such powerful enemies, whose very existence threatens that of the Seven Kingdoms and its populace.

The poster for the season places the Night King front and centre as the looming danger. Davos even gives us a stark (no pun intended) reminder of what war really matters in is voice over in the trailer:

“If we don’t put aside our enmities and band together, we will die. And then it doesn’t matter whose skeleton sits on the Iron Throne.”

Jon’s voice over ends the trailer on an ominous note:

“The Great War…is here.”

As definitive as that line is, it’s likely that The Great War a.k.a. The War for the Dawn won’t start until the end of this season and will be the main, if not sole, story of the eight and final season. There are a lot of story lines that need to come to a head and/or be resolved before that happens – pretty much all of them in fact – and it looks like that will be what occupies the bulk of this season. But it wouldn’t be surprising if the the war started before said story lines are resolved.

One thing that needs to happen in order to usher in The War for the Dawn is that the Wall must fall.

It’s going to come down. There’s no doubt about that. There is no other way for the White Walkers to make it into Westeros and we know that they will. The Wall was constructed with the magic of the Children of the Forest woven into it and this magic is what keeps them at bay. This same magic protected the cave of the Three Eyed Raven and after Bran was marked by the Night’s King, the White Walkers were able to enter it. Speculation has been rampant since then that, because of this, Bran going through the Wall will enable the White Walkers and their army of wights to do the same.

Now that isn’t a physical bringing down of the wall, only a means for the White Walkers to circumvent its magic. But there is another way to bring down the Wall; blowing the Horn of Winter.

Also known as the Horn of Joramun, it belonged to and was used by Joramun, the first King Beyond the Wall. He gathered the Free Folk and defeated he Night’s King (not the same one from the series) and the Night’s Queen along with Brandon the Breaker, the then King of the North. Joramun blew his horn once and “woke the giants from the earth.” It’s said that blowing the horn again will bring down the Wall.

We may have seen the Horn of Winter on the show already; in season two when Sam, Grenn and Edd find the cache of dragonglass and an old warhorn. It may have been just that, an old warhorn, but some fans believe it to be the the Horn of Winter and it’s still in Sam’s possession. There’s even an identical horn on the cover of the next book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, Winds of Winter.

For more information on the Horn of Winter, watch Alt Shift X’s video about it: The Horn of Winter: will Joramun’s Horn destroy the Wall? [S5/ADWD spoilers].

Season 7 of Game of Thrones premieres July 16th at 9 PM on HBO.

Reign S04E15 Recap

K.F. Cumberbatch
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0
Reign S04E15 Recap

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.

Mary is a better person than most of us would be. After everything that Darnley did in his numerous attempts to claim power for himself, she can still find it within herself to care for him and treat him fairly and with kindness. As she maintains, he is still her husband and the father of her child, but I think her continued ability to care for him goes deeper than that.

When she diagnosed him with syphilis, it instantly explained everything about his behaviour in the last episode and his sudden madness. It unfortunately didn’t explain everything he did. It was a little irresponsible of her to send him away from the castle to be treated for his syphilis, as Lady Lennox said. At least if he had been within the castle, the risk of anyone finding out would have been lessened. His contraction of an STD poses significant risk to her reputation as queen – as Lady Lennox threatened near the end of the episode.

But that was of little concern to Mary because she literally went into labour in the middle of the discussion. Nothing comes easy to Mary of course and her labour was a difficult one. When she sent for Bothwell so that she could say goodbye, I expected her to send for Darnley as well – he is the father – but I do love that he and Greer were at her side. It was a little eye roll inducing that she “died” and came back and gave birth in two pushes. It took me out of the scene a little bit.

While all of this was happening, Lady Lennox, aka Worst Mother of the Year, took advantage of Darnley’s ill health and convinced him to make another power move against Mary and fill the remaining Privy Council seats with people loyal to him so that he could be named his son’s Steward. There was a tiny sliver of hope when he protested her urging, noting that seeing his dead ex-girlfriend – Kira – meant that Mary was right about his madness. But she succeeded in turning him against Mary. Honestly, none of that was about Darnley and securing power and security for him. It was about her.  If she cared about her son she wouldn’t have manipulated him like that. In a bit of instant karma, it backfired on her because Darnley fled the castle with the baby.

With her back against the wall and no other options, Mary wrote a letter to Elizabeth promising that she wouldn’t come after her cousin’s throne and asking her to name Mary’s son as her heir. It may have been desperation on Mary’s part, but I think that it was ultimately smart. If Elizabeth accepts then Mary would have given both countries what they want and she’d have saved Elizabeth from her marriage obligations (except that with Gideon’s death, it’s a little too late for that). I expected Mary to sneak her son away to be fostered in England with Elizabeth, but I like this better.

Elizabeth was still reeling from the aforementioned death of Gideon. Much the same as I had, she assumed that Ferdinand was behind Gideon’s poisoning because of his jealously. In retaliation she employed Francis Drake to steal the cargo from one of Austria’s shipments, something that I knew would come back to bite her in the butt the second she mentioned it. Now she’s at war with Spain because Drake sank two Spanish war ships on his way back to England.

She had a point that he never should have raised the English sails on his way back, but it was her own misguided attempt at petty revenge. She’s just as much to blame. I’m certain that Ferdinand will find out about her involvement and end their engagement.

But that wasn’t the best part of Elizabeth’s story line in this episode; it was the revelation that Jane was working with Narcisse! It was confirmed the moment we saw her family poring over French goods. When Narcisse himself showed up at Jane’s home, having kidnapped her family and sent them to France, he also confirmed that she had been the one to poison Gideon. I knew it!

Narcisse had a fairly sound plan for covering their tracks; ensuring that Elizabeth felt strongly enough about Ferdinand’s guilt that she’d have him killed and thus feel like justice had been served. If it hadn’t already been made obvious that Elizabeth suspected Jane that is. In fact, I’d say that she’d already known by then. So it was no surprise when she confronted Jane and had her arrested. Jane really dug in her heels about not having anything to do with Gideon’s death. I thought that she would have sold out Narcisse.

Someone else got arrested in this episode, but that was surprising and satisfying.

Leeza arrived in France after Charles announced his intention to marry Nicole, feigning support of the union since she could do nothing to stop it (which no one believed). She was really there to let Henry know that Spain was sending a fleet (the same fleet that Drake encountered) as show of force to make Charles abdicate. She even confirmed my believe that Spain only wanted Henry on the throne so that they could control him.

Given that she so bluntly told Henry that Spain wanted to use him as their puppet, I was astounded that he still wanted to be a part of their scheme to take over France and be installed as king. Why would he want to be a king in name only? Furthermore, Leeza directly stated that Spain wanted him to marry who they chose and yet, he still went to Nicole telling her that he would make her queen once he became king. Spain doesn’t want Charles marrying her – the Protestant, peasant girl – so why would he think that they would be okay with him doing it?

I did want Henry and Nicole to end up together just because she accepts and loves him the way he is, but that was not the way that the two could be together. Their running away before the Spanish fleet arrived was a predictable mistake. With Spain occupied with fighting England, Leeza was left vulnerable enough that Charles arrested and imprisoned her. Not because she tried to stage a coup, but because the attempt cost him Nicole (who he firmly believed was kidnapped by Henry). I wish that Catherine had told him the truth about Nicole’s feelings. It’s not use hiding it from him any more.

Now Henry himself is vulnerable and I fully expect Charles to execute him once he is found. The coup attempt is a wonderful cover for him killing his brother over a girl. I don’t think that Catherine can save Henry this time. Even if Nicole is successfully assassinated, Henry is going to die.

Random thoughts:

  1. That’s really unfair to Claude.
  2. Luc: “As much as I’ve wanted this marriage to work it can’t.” You and me both bro.
  3. We all know Mary won’t die.
  4. Finally! Someone put Leeza in her place.
  5. Mary’s still in labour?
  6. Awww Mary, Bothwell and the baby are so cute together.
  7. Can we kill Lady Lennox already?
  8. At no point did Leith think to mention his impending marriage the entire time he and Claude have been writing to each other?
  9. Fire that nurse!

The series finale of Reign will air on Friday June 16th.

Reign S04E14 Recap

K.F. Cumberbatch
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Reign S04E14 Recap

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.

This episode picks up right where the last one left off, with Mary ready to take back her castle and punish the Privy Council for staging their coup. She dresses for battle and, despite her pregnancy, refuses to stay behind; she will be on the battlefield with her men! She appears at the castle with her men, shocking Ruthven who assumed he had her trapped safe and sound in her room, ready to reclaim what is hers…and then we cut to Bothwell, Mary and company hanging him. With Mary herself kicking the wood from beneath Ruthven’s feet.

I must say that I was disappointed that we didn’t get at least a skirmish between Mary’s forces and those of the Privy Council. By the time she’d gotten there, all of them except for Ruthven had run and there was no battle to be fought. All she needed to to was stroll right in. At first I thought that the members of her Privy Council had run out of cowardice, but as the episode progressed and she found it increasingly difficult to find and bring them to justice, I realised it was the smartest thing for them to do.

This unfortunately also worked in Knox’s favour because there was no one around to testify that he was involved in it. Here had been her greatest opportunity to rid herself of the man and it was slipping between her fingers like sand. That is until Darnley showed up, having served up on of the conspirators on a platter for Mary, claiming to have changed in the months since the coup and wanting only to be involved in his child’s life. I didn’t trust Darnley at all and neither did Bothwell, although I was hopeful that he was telling the truth just as Mary was.

Another thing that disappointed me was when Mary turned down Narcisse’s offer to take revenge on Knox for Lola’s execution. If anyone besides Mary had more than enough reason to see the man dead, it was Narcisse. So when Mary’s plan to round up the members of the Privy Council and arrest them literally went up in smoke and she told Narcisse that he wouldn’t be able to see Knox brought to justice, I thought that was her subtle way of telling him to go right ahead with his revenge.

Except Mary wasn’t doing that and she knew nothing about the torture Narcisse had subjected Knox to. It was admittedly satisfying seeing Knox finally get what he deserved for all of the evil he had done. I didn’t think he would castrate Knox (or give Mary his severed testicles as a parting gift, for that matter). I expected him to kill him. Narcisse wasn’t done avenging Lola’s death, however.

It turned out that Bothwell’s mistrust – and mine as well – in Darnley was well deserved. I didn’t want to believe Bothwell when he proposed to Mary that it had been Darnley and not Knox who’d burned the Privy Council alive, but he was right. It was him. And Darnley is perhaps more sinister than ever now because he’s gone completely mad; telling his mother that his dead love, Kira had guided him.

Elizabeth had quite the task juggling Ferdinand and Gideon and lying to both about what she was doing with the other. She semi kept her promise to Ferdinand by sending Gideon on numerous trips out of the country and convinced him that there was nothing between her and Gideon. On the other hand she failed to tell Gideon of her sexual relationship with Ferdinand and assured him that the frequent trips weren’t because of Ferdinand’s jealousy, which it was.

She was very much trying to have her cake and eat it too, but it ultimately backfired when she invited Gideon to her chambers one night and he found Ferdinand waiting outside. Ferdinand, already far wiser to the situation than Gideon was, made it abundantly clear that he was there for the same reason he knew Gideon was. Heartbroken to learn that Elizabeth had been lying to him, Gideon ends their affair.

Elizabeth won’t let go of their relationship that easily and has him meet her in a church, where she explains that she would never lie to him again and only did what she had to keep them together despite her marriage and Ferdinand’s jealousy. The two perform a handfasting ceremony, binding them together in love for all eternity.

Their happiness is very shortly lived when Gideon suddenly collapses and dies in Elizabeth’s arms. Jane urges Elizabeth to leave so that she will not be found with him, thereby raising questions, since she’d already sent for a doctor. Clutching Gideon’s lifeless body, Elizabeth insists that he must have been poisoned (had had shown signs of illness earlier in the episode, however) and swears she will find who killed him.

At first, I thought that it had been Ferdinand who poisoned Gideon. We don’t know him that well yet so I wouldn’t put it past him, but it was Narcisse. Like I said, he wasn’t quite done avenging Lola. It puzzled me as to how he could have done so when he was miles away in Scotland, but then it occurred to me that he may well have been the person that Jane had been writing to. It would make sense that she be his agent in England and had been the one to deliver the poison to Gideon.

In France Luc, on his way back to French court from his estates, catches Henry and Nicole kissing in the town and heading into an inn together. He immediately tells Catherine who enlists his and Claude’s help in convincing Henry to end his affair with Nicole. Henry enthusiastically and far too quickly agrees, saying he was about to end it. Which was altogether true since earlier in the episode, she’d caught him trying on her earrings at the inn.

When Henry goes to Nicole to break things off, she says it wasn’t the first time she’d caught him doing that and noticed marks that could only have come from wearing a corset on his chest. Defiant, Henry says he likes dressing in women’s clothing and the way it makes him feel. He refuses to let go of the pleasure it brings him and she is free to leave him if that’s not the kind of man she wants.

As was obvious to anyone but Henry, Nicole is perfectly fine with his proclivities, even gifting him a pair of earrings. Henry returns the “I love you” Nicole had given him earlier in the episode, in turn ruining my hope that he was only using her.

Charles, in the meantime, is busy trying to decide which of Spain’s pre-approved options for his wife he would like to marry. After all of the struggling with Spain, France has finally come to an agreement with them and his marriage to one of these girls would ensure a lasting peace between them. But when Luc asks Charles to support his annulment from Claude so that she can be with the one she loves, Charles decides to follow suit, announcing his intended as Nicole and destroying the progress they had made with Spain.

Random thoughts:

  1. I’m surprised Nicole didn’t react to Henry now saying “I love you” back.
  2. Charles: “Too equine.” Lol.
  3. Elizabeth is playing a dangerous game with these two.
  4. How is Knox always one step ahead?
  5. This “marriage” won’t end well for Elizabeth and Gideon.
  6. Wait what? Gideon just died?
  7. Stop sinking my ship Claude!
  8. Oh good gravy Charles!

The series finale of Reign air on Friday June 16th.

‘Baywatch’ Film Review

K.F. Cumberbatch
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‘Baywatch’ Film Review

Baywatch is the 2017  action-comedy film adaptation of the popular television series of the same name. The films stars Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Jon Bass, Ilfenesh Hadera, and Priyanka Chopra, was written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift and directed by Seth Gordon. Johnson plays Mitch, a celebrated and beloved lifeguard in charge of an elite team known as Baywatch, who takes on disgraced Olympic swimmer Matt Brody – played by Efron – as part of his community service. When drugs wash up on the beach, Mitch leads his team in an investigation to uncover the nefarious goings on surrounding the Huntley Club and it’s owner Victoria Leeds – played by Chopra.

This film is a joke and very, very stupid and not at all in a good way or how the filmmakers intended it to be. It’s also a huge missed opportunity. It had so much potential to be a very good, silly, goofy, self-aware comedy and all of it was wasted. It constantly tries to establish that kind of tone, with Efron’s character Brody pointing out every ridiculous thing Mitch and his team does. It’s supposed to be meta-commentary that puts everything the team does in a humorous light, but the film treats itself so seriously that none of it lands. It’s not at all funny.

The appearance of the title card itself tries to establish that kind of The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water tone of campy, zany fun; it pops up out of the water behind Johnson as he cradles someone he just rescued and dolphins leap out of the water. It was a brilliant way to set up what to expect from the film, but it was a false flag. The trailers even hinted at it. It’s as if the filmmakers were trying to do both…or something. Whatever it was, it failed. Horribly.

What the filmmakers did succeeded in doing was making suspension of disbelief completely impossible. Nothing that these people did was believable. It made absolutely no sense that they felt so strongly that they needed to involve themselves in criminal investigations or took themselves so seriously as life guards. To do things that they are more than once told is not their job. To grossly overstep the boundaries of what is appropriate or legal for them to do as civilians. The film does such a bad job at endearing you to them that they’re frustrating to watch and you don’t root for them to take things into their own hands or go so far. They just come off as a bunch of self important twats. Especially Mitch.

This film managed to do something that no one would ever have thought possible; it made Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson an insufferable narcissist. Dwayne Johnson. The most likeable man in Hollywood. Who did garbage film after garbage film and was always the best thing about them. Mitch felt like a police academy or military drop out who was desperately clinging to the fantasy of fulfilling such a role. So much so that he turned himself and his team of lifeguards into some pseudo special ops unit.

His insistence on never calling Brody by his name and instead referring to him by the names of boy bands and pretty-boy pop stars, even calling him High School Musical at one point, was never funny. Even though it was supposed to be. He has a very hypocritical moment in the film as well; he stressed the importance and seriousness of being a lifeguard and how much of a life and death situation the job can be…to then leave the beach unattended for the entire day because he was too busy doing the police’s job. With all of the charm and charisma in the world, Johnson could not save this film. His character is literally the worst.

The only likeable characters were Ronnie  (the out of shape new recruit who has a crush on CJ) and Brody. Of everyone who is supposed to be funny, Ronnie is the only one who actually is. His nervous, goof ball persona and crush on CJ make him endearing. Although Brody starts off just as forgettable as much of the cast is, he eventually grows on you and has his moments in the film that make you like him as a character. They’re not laugh out loud funny moments, but they warrant at least a slight upturn at the corner of the lips.

Daddario, Rohrbach and Hadera are eye candy. That’s it. They serve their purpose. Although it’s worthy of note that Hadera is Mitch’s second in command and the only woman on the team who does not have a romantic interest. On the topic of the female presence in this film, every time someone says something that could even remotely be interpreted as sexist – like Mitch saying Brody has soft hands like a woman and their boss referring to them as “you guys” when Daddario is present – they apologise. It’s annoying and a little patronising.

Chopra’s Victoria Leeds is a cartoon villain. If she had moustache, she would have twirled it several times. Like pretty much everyone in the cast except the aforementioned exceptions, she has no character or personality. Her villainous nature is in no way subtle. Not that it has to be, it’s just that the overtness with which she displayed it was poorly done.

For a film that’s supposed to be a comedy it’s not actually that funny. At all. There are three laugh out loud hilarious moments in the film and that is it. None of the other jokes particularly elicit any kind of reaction and just fall flat. It’s trying to be a 21 Jump Street type thing but it never gets there. It’s trying too hard to be funny and to fit into the genre it so clearly wants to be in.

No one would expect this film to be good. It’s obviously meant to be a guilty pleasure. It’s not trying to be good, but it’s a lot worst than you would think. The trailers promised a dumb, fun, comedy and the film delivers on only one of those things and it’s neither the fun nor the comedy. Baywatch is simply atrocious.

Watch: “Mad Man” by Seth “Xcel” Bovell

K.F. Cumberbatch
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Watch: “Mad Man” by Seth “Xcel” Bovell

Popular comedian and social media personality Seth “Xcel” Bovell yesterday released the music video for his Crop Over 2017 single “Mad Man.” The song was written by Bovell himself, mixed and mastered by Andrew Denny and recorded by Legacy Entertainment, as per the video description on YouTube.

The video features footage of Bovell performing at events, rubbing elbows with other artistes and personalities such as A.J. Calloway, King Bubba FM, Nikita, Peter Ram and Lil Rick, Bovell being interviewed at various radio stations, crowds dancing at fetes and events and people partying on a catamaran cruise.

Bovell also posted a link on his Facebook Page, from which the song can be downloaded for free. Watch the music video below:

Reign S04E13 Recap

K.F. Cumberbatch
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0
Reign S04E13 Recap

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.

Just when I thought that Darnley couldn’t do any worse for himself, he had to go and prove me wrong. His relentless pursuit of the Crown Matrimonial has been the single most frustrating story line in this season so far (in a good way) and it really only pushed him further away from the one thing he truly desired: respect.

Mary already proved a long time ago that she can match Darnley blow for blow when it comes to his plotting against her. She did it again in this episode when she found out about his and Knox’s plan to have the Privy Council overrule her denial of the Crown Matrimony, by announcing her pregnancy. She effectively quelled the Privy Council and gave them no more reason to want her gone. Except for Ruthven of course; he hates her with the same passion and fury that Knox does.

It’s here that Darnley starts to get way over his head but still cannot see exactly who it is that he has decided to lie down with. Knox and Ruthven immediately decide that it’s time that they kill Mary, rather than simply remove her from the throne. Darnley himself says that he doesn’t want Mary dead, but continues to work with the men either way! If there was ever a time when Darnley should have bailed and told Mary everything, it was then. But alas, he hadn’t gotten what he wanted yet and like I said in the last recap, his ambition has been blinding him.

He comes up with another plan at Knox’s behest and plans to stage a coup; he tries to catch Mary alone in her room with Bothwell so that he can accuse her of adultery. Again, for the second time in this episode and despite an incredibly last minute warning, Mary thwarts him and the plan has failed. But Ruthven isn’t about to just let this go, not when Rizzio is right there and had earlier threatened to expose his homosexuality if he didn’t change his position on opposing Mary on the Crown Matrimonial. It was the perfect opportunity for him to kill two birds with one stone; get rid of Rizzio and his threat and use him instead of Bothwell in his accusation of adultery. And got rid of Rizzio he did, in the most brutal manner, by stabbing him repeatedly along with at least another half dozen men.

That was the moment in which I went from almost despising Darnley, to despising him out right; an innocent, good man died because of his ambition. And still he believed that Ruthven and Knox would give him what he wanted. Darnley was thoroughly obtuse for pretty much this entire episode. Absolutely nothing these men did awakened him to their true character. To what was awaiting him once everything they wanted was in place and they no longer needed him. Mary had to almost literally shake the sense back into him so that he could see what he’d truly gotten himself into. It was frustrating watching him be that stupid.

His only saving grace in this episode was that he helper her escape the castle and finally left the poor girl alone. He left so he wouldn’t have to face the consequences of what he did, under fear of death at the hands of Bothwell, but still, he’s gone and hopefully remains gone.

In France, Henry is still being a power hungry little git and using Charles’ mistake with the English residing in France to his own benefit and doing a pretty good job of it. I didn’t trust that he was acting in Charles’ name and I’d assumed he’d been doing it without the requisite permissions. At first I thought that he was trying to make the situation worse in order to further ruin Charles’ image, but what he was really doing was working for Spain.

He raided one of the beheaded English traders’ ships and found saltpeter, which is used to make gunpowder. While Narcisse was off meeting with Gideon in order to come to an agreement concerning the ship and its cargo, Henry was off tattling to Spain about his discovery; something that they wanted for themselves. He made the wrong decision in telling Narcisse of his discovery, however, because Narcisse told Gideon, who then told Charles about his brother’s little plot. But that wasn’t the only way he’d been trying to undermine Charles in this episode.

He went after Nicole yet again and got her. I wondered why he was so interested in Nicole (I don’t buy that he has any genuine feelings for her) and why he was so invested in proving to her that Narcisse has no feelings for her (another little plan of his that back fired in some way because he then had to listen to Narcisse and Catherine having sex). Then it occurred to me that if he separates Narcisse and Nicole, Charles is no longer getting proper advice from someone with more experience and who can help him lead the country. I’m thoroughly convinced that he is manipulating Nicole.

I don’t really understand why Henry is working with Spain because, the way I see it, even though they will put him on the throne if they can, their ultimate goal is to have power over France. To absorb it into their own kingdom. Even if Henry is on the throne, he would be a king in name only and have virtually no power. He would be at their beck and call, doing their bidding.

The Arch Duke Ferdinand finally return to England, ready to marry Elizabeth now that his family has agreed to her terms. The only problem is that he found the very saucy letters that Elizabeth had written for Gideon, which she planned to show him once he returned from France. I absolutely loved how Elizabeth played it off by telling him she’d written them for him to read after they were married. It was funny and brilliant. Funnier still was the look on her face when he proposed they no longer wait to share in their desire for one another since they were getting married anyway.

I like Ferdinand a lot. I’m a little peeved that he tricked Elizabeth into sleeping with him (he knew that the letters were for Gideon), but it’s admirable that he wants them to have a real marriage. I understand why he wants Gideon gone and away from court, but I’m not particularly happy about it; I’d hate to see him go. I am, for the time being, entertaining the idea that he is the one that Jane was writing to. Sure, he could have known about him and Elizabeth just by observing them together but it would explain how he knew.

Random thoughts:

  1. I love Gideon and Narcisse’s banter and chemistry.
  2. Mary’s surprise announcement got Darnley the adoration he craves so desperately. That should satiate him.
  3. You’re terrible at intrigue Darnley.
  4. Ruthven isn’t just sexist, he’s xenophobic too!
  5. Rizzio’s devotion to Mary is the sweetest.
  6. R.I.P Rizzio.
  7. Darnley: “All I ever wanted was to be treated with respect.” You could have had it without the Crown Matrimonial! In fact, I’d argue that you did!

Reign airs Fridays at 9 PM on The CW.

‘Wonder Woman’ Film Review

K.F. Cumberbatch
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‘Wonder Woman’ Film Review
© Warner Bros.

Wonder Woman is a 2017 superhero, comic book film starring Gal Gadot as the titular character, as well as Chris Pine,  Robin Wright, Danny Huston, David Thewlis, Connie Nielsen and Elena Anaya. The fourth film in the DC Extended Universe, it was written by Allen Heinberg and directed by Patty Jenkins. The film marks the first time that Wonder Woman has had her own live-action  theatrical film and the second time she has appeared in one (the first being Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice).

The film tells Wonder Woman’s origin story; moulded from clay by her mother Hippolyta and brought to life by Zeus, she spends all of her life on the island of Themyscira training alongside her fellow Amazons. When World War I pilot Steve Trevor crash lands on the island and tells the Amazons of the conflict, Diana leaves the island to find Ares and defeat him in an effort to end the war.

Gal Gadot fully and perfectly inhabits the role of Diana/Wonder Woman. If her performance in the aforementioned Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice didn’t silence the naysayers who protested her casting, then her performance here will. It’s clear that Gadot is having fun with the role during the lighter moments in the film. She effectively portrays the range of emotions that Diana experiences throughout and convincingly expresses her personality, giving her a depth that the film’s writing does not.

Diana is an easily relatable character whose naivety is endearing and compassion, in the DCEU, refreshing. She’s not a dark and brooding character like her compatriots, even with the horrors she witnesses during the war. If anything, said horrors only inspire her all the more to achieve her goal. There is a deep empathy to her and her strong desire to help people makes her exceedingly loveable, as does her profound sense of duty. She is a very noble character. She has a clear character arc in which the audience gets to see her mature as she learns more about the world and humanity and broadens her understanding of both.

Chris Pine also performs well as Steve Trevor, displaying his usual charm and astuteness for comedy. Yes, there is comedy in this film unlike most others in the DCEU and it’s much in the same vein as how the Marvel Cinematic Universe treats theirs. Gadot has comedic moments of her own as well and she exceeds in them, but much of the comedy flows from Pine.

He and Gadot have great chemistry and the two shine on screen. Steve Trevor serves as Diana’s teacher and guide in the world of men and near the end of the film gives her a powerful lesson about the nature of humanity that is one of the best moments in the film.

© Warner Bros.

As for Sameer, Charlie and Chief (the rest of Diana and Steve’s crew), with the exception of the latter, they’re amusing and are full of personality, which makes you latch onto them instantly. But they’re ultimately useless and serve little purpose within the narrative aside from being Diana’s friends. Worst of all is Charlie, a sharpshooter, [mild spoiler; highlight to reveal] who never actually shoots anything. Granted, he has post-traumatic stress disorder. The film would hardly be any different without them. Diana does, however, have a moment with Charlie after one of the film’s action sequences which is perhaps its sweetest.

The villains, Ludendorff and Dr. Maru/Dr. Poison, are serviceable. They have a simple function and that is as a target for Diana to aim for. Elena Anaya, the actress who plays Poison, over does it  in some scenes – as does Danny Huston, who plays Ludendorff – especially with her vocal performance, but that could be explained away by her facial injury. There is a twist involving Ludendorff that the observant viewer should be able to spot given that it it’s hinted at at least once, but the other part of said twist is quiet unexpected.

As glimpsed in the trailer, the action sequences were very good. They were well choreographed and showed off Diana’s prowess as a a warrior; she never looked like she didn’t know what she was doing. There is an overuse of slow motion in them though.  At first it has the desired effect of looking cool and adding some style and flair to the sequence, but it gets used so much it quickly gets old.

The final action sequence is the typical CGI fest, with a mess of explosions and pretty lights; the kind one has come to expect from blockbuster films, especially comic book/superhero films. The “final boss”, Ares, has a set of undefined powers that allow the filmmakers to have him do essentially anything, particularly if it adds another layer of spectacle to the sequence. Diana here suffers from two tropes that go hand in hand; [mild spoiler; highlight to reveal] getting the crap kicked out of her for most of the fight, only to have her full power unlocked by a cliche emotional trigger. 

Speaking of CGI, this film is a little more than inconsistent with it’s visual effects. The times at which it looks good are fewer than when it looks bad. The CGI used to create the scenery and environment of Themyscira is very good, close to impeccable. But that is likely because it is largely immobile.

© Warner Bros.

When it comes to the CGI versions of Diana and others used in the action sequences, it’s very bad. It’s painfully obvious that it’s not a real person. It sticks out like a sore thumb. The green used for some shots is very obvious as well. The actors do not blend in with the environment and it looks wholly unnatural.

The film is a little slow. It never picks up the pace, not even with the stellar action sequences, but it never slows down either. It’s the same throughout and this hurts the film because it never truly hits a high point. Nor is it easy to distinguish when it moves from one act to the next, particularly from the first to the second.

For much of the film it feels like it’s still at the beginning when it has, in fact, gone through much of the middle already. The ending comes sooner than expected and the slow-ish pace makes it feel like it snuck up on you. The film is so long that even so, you spend so much time in the last act that it doesn’t feel like it ended abruptly but you do feel it’s close to two and a half hour run time.

© Warner Bros.

The film spent the vast majority of it’s duration presenting the theme that morality is not black and white, that humanity is flawed and just as capable of good as it is evil and everything in between. It was well woven into the narrative and culminated in a singular moment that exemplified it perfectly. The film could have ended there and it would have been all the better for it.

But then the film introduces another theme that, upon reflection, does make sense with Diana’s character and her contrast with Ares, but nonetheless feels shoehorned in and at the end of the film completely destroys and contradicts the previous theme that it had established so much better. Not to mention, it’s horribly cliche and all the more cringey because of the female lead and in some ways it feels like it’s only in there because she’s female.

Wonder Woman is the best film in the DC Extended Universe so far, but that isn’t saying much when the bar is set so low. It does a lot of things right, especially it’s main character (Diana is the best of the big three in this universe), but it also does a lot of things wrong and unfortunately not much of the good things are good enough to outweigh or overshadow the bad. That being said, it’s a fairly competently made film that, despite all of the critical praise it’s received, this reviewer found it to be just okay.

De Same Song

Kofi Jones
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De Same Song

Well hey, look who’s back.

After taking a forever long hiatus to let more Crop Over songs settle in (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), I’m back. And just time apparently because the world of soca as we know it is in turmoil! Chaos! Disorder! Mayhem! Upheaval! And other synonyms!

Not really, but as I’m sure everyone and their pet rock knows, profile song writer Jason “Shaft” Bishop seems to have kind of, sort of sold the same song to two different artists. He was probably thinking that he was going to get away with it because the original artist who’d sung the song isn’t exactly the most popular. Or, according to him, he honestly forgot.


[Shaft pictured above]
I’m no song writer. The only song I wrote was the lyrics to the Game of Thrones theme song.

“Thrones thrones Game of Thrones thrones Game of Throooonnes”

So, I have no professional input on how you manage to forget a song you wrote. Albeit, someone who’s made a successful career at this craft must surely have a ginormous catalogue of music. It wouldn’t be unreasonable for Vybz Kartel to honestly forget one of his songs. But I’m sure there’s a more precise way to find out if you’d sold one of your songs than a YouTube search. Which based on [Red Boyz video] is exactly what happened. Once again, the only song I ever wrote was the lyrics to the Harry Potter movie score.

“Harry Potter is a wizard Harry Potter”

But I don’t think it’d be that hard to have an Excel sheet with songs I wrote. Inclusive of “Did I sell this? Man ye.”

On the other other hand. Really and truly homeboy did nothing wrong! Ethically. A little bit bad mind, but not…wrong.

 

[Would put a meme here about shafting Devine but everyone and their “Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson ” pet rock already did it.]

That’s easier to understand in my opinion. He probably felt like his song was wasted and figured “Man look. Lemme mek some money on that big one yuh.” I just wish he told everyone involved. And not posted pictures on Instragram with half naked girls talking about recovery.

As far as the actual songs go? They’re good. I won’t lie, because I prefer Nikita’s version; it feels more complete in my opinion.

It’s an unfortunate situation in which it’s not even clear who benefitted. But I’m sure everyone will get swiftly back on their feet.

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